The Taboo - Stress

This job IS stressful. Let’s get it out in the open. It can weigh us down with no regard to race, gender or age. Coming to work, dealing with negative personalities and those with delusions of grandeur. All stress. Lack of sleep, more stress. In recent conversations, I’ve come to remember my early days as a firefighter and my most stressful days. I want to share with you some of the lessons I learned and the coping mechanisms I’ve used over the years.

In the early years, I worked THE worst of fire schedules. It was referred to as a modified Kelly. 1on/1off/1on/1off/1on/4off. Between the lack of sleep from every other night and listening to multiple station tones day and night, I wasn’t anywhere near getting enough rest. I thought sleep was the type of “rest” I needed. Even though that was part of the equation it wasn’t a fully regimented prescription for me. That lead to me being angry, upset, moody, etc. I’d carry the baggage day in and day out. I’d run calls with a paramedic or intermediate partner only to come across another EMS unit to show up on scene and disregard anything I would say or had done to convince our patient they needed more help. More stress.

I’m sure I’m not the only one. Many of us go through an academy, ready to be yelled at, get through our strictly regimented day and force ourselves through the constant yelling, “preparing” us for the stressors of the job. Not to say this isn’t preparation. There are so many dangers associated with this job, we can only hope to be as prepared as possible. The academy is a controlled environment where your safety is of the utmost concern. But what happens when you leave?

You’re on the floor. It’s your turn to regulate the stress. “What are you doing Probie!?” First words to come out of the firefighter’s mouth when you attempt to introduce yourself. The entitlement is real. 6 months. 1 year. 2 years. You get it. They’ve been here longer than you and that deserves respect. But does it really? In my opinion, no. The fire department is full of opinions, this just happens to be mine and I’m choosing to share it.

When you find yourself on the receiving end of such treatment, the best approach is to resist the urge to retaliate. This principle is brilliantly articulated in the book "The 48 Laws of Power." This insightful work outlines a series of "laws," two of which I personally find quite valuable. The first law advises us “never outshine the master”, underscoring the importance of understanding and respecting our place within a hierarchy. It's a bit like recognizing that everyone has their own role to play in the grand scheme of things. The fifth law further emphasizes the critical role of reputation and encourages us to protect it as if it were our most precious possession.

In my view, these two laws are closely connected. The first law reminds us to be mindful of our position within a structured system. It's common for people with titles or positions of authority to take great pride in them. However, it's important to remember that these titles don't necessarily reflect one's sincerity, personality, or other qualities we might associate with those roles (even though they probably should). With this in mind, when you notice a flaw or shortcoming in a superior, supervisor, or senior partner, it's usually best not to point it out. In most cases, these issues are apparent to everyone involved, and drawing attention to them only drags you down to their level. Choosing the path of moral high ground may not always be the easiest route, but it's certainly a noble one.

When you decide to take the high road, it's crucial not to dwell on what's behind you. Instead, focus on learning from the brash or unworthy behavior of others and keep moving forward. Remember, in the grand scheme of power dynamics, embracing the high road sets you on a higher pedestal than any self-promotion ever could. So, with that friendly piece of advice in mind, take the high road and never look back. (Robert Greene, "The 48 Laws of Power")

This will relate directly to Law #5 -guard your reputation. Your reputation is your most valuable asset. Your reputation WILL precede you. As most communication within the fire department travels at light-speed. Word about you, your actions, and most definitely your inaction, will all travel quickly. There may be a minor incident and within minutes you’ll receive text messages, phone calls, smoke signals ALL wanting to know what you heard. What happened and what’s going to happen. Fine. No big deal there. But you can see how quickly rumors spread. Both up, as well as down in the chain of command. So it’s up to you. Guard your reputation. Being compassionate, careful and genuine will be noticed. These aren’t glamorous qualities. But they’re much more valuable than being boastful and arrogant. Your actions and reactions will prove, with no direct word from your mouth, who you are and who you’re becoming.

So, what should I do? Over the years I’ve come to find that many of those opinions, just simply don’t matter. Will this matter in 10 years? 15 years? 25 years? Many will be retired, fired or simply move on. Will they have something to say at my funeral? Probably not and most will move on with life. As you’ve probably noticed, cost of living is going up, including rent. Therefore, don’t let anyone live “rent-free” in your head.

Outcome: you’ll learn from both the good and the bad experiences. Prove through your actions the kind of person (not firefighter/EMT, etc.) that you truly are. Never let titles weigh you down with arrogance. Along the way you’ll find your true friends and those willing to stick it out with you. The stress will simply fade away.

-Dave (landlord)